Sunday Mail Column: Labour Of Love

Today is not a good day for many people. Not because anything particularly horrific has happened. They haven’t – collectively – been fired. Or robbed. Or been told their new haircut makes them look just a little bit like Barbara Bush. No today is horrendous simply because it’s Valentine’s Day, they’re single and they don’t want to be. Sound like you?

If you think couples everywhere are exchanging lovey-dovey cards today, you’re wrong. Married couples are currently having the awkward “I thought we weren’t getting each other anything?” conversation. I’m joking, of course. Some married couples aren’t even talking to one another.

Anyway. You don’t care about that because you’re single and today is nauseating. I hear you.

So I’m going to pass on some lurve advice given to me a decade ago by my friend Kim who has been happily married for twenty years:

1. You don’t stop getting in a car just because you’re afraid of having an accident. The same is true for love. Just because you’re afraid of having your heart broken doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put yourself out there.

Some of us complain about being single and spend our days wishing for a companion all the while living the life of Agnetha from ABBA (Famous hermit. Try to keep up).  If you want love, you have to leave the cave.

1. Next time you meet someone and you think, “Nah, they’re not my type” – ask them out. Your type isn’t working for you. Try dating someone who isn’t your type and see what happens.

If you can look back on your dating history and the word “always” comes up (I always date cheaters, I always date commitment phobics) – then you have a type. Next time you meet a nice person but dismiss them for not being your ‘type’- give them a chance.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

My old school friend Jane works as a professional matchmaker at Ideal Introductions. I also asked her for some advice. Here’s what she said:

“Make up your mind to start doing something differently.   If you’ve been single for an extended period of time and aren’t thinking about activating change, then you’re still going to be single this time next year.  Get out in different social circles, join sporting or cultural clubs, investigate introduction agencies and dating websites.  Most importantly of all, be happy.  Open up your heart and your mind. Be the kind of person you would want to date. Believe that the right person will come into your life. And they will – when the time is right.  It’s ALL about timing.  So good planning is essential.  Get yourself ready so fate can do its thing!”

And finally I’m going to finish with a quote from that well-known sage (ahem), Cher.

“If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at any time in your life.”

Amen to that.